As we are now days away from welcoming our brand new baby in to the world, I’ve taken some time to reflect on life and how much it’s changed since becoming parents.
I adore being a mummy, I truly do. I feel a swell of pride in my chest with every new and funny thing Noah does. But some days, I also still feel a longing for the woman I was before children. Free time to do with as I wish; read, bath, tv, nap. Free time becomes a thing of the past once children come along as even when they’re at childcare or just out with grandparents for example, you fill your “free time” getting those urgh jobs done that are impossible with children around or you just think of how much you miss them when they’re not there.
None of this is to say that I don’t thank my lucky stars every day that I was blessed with my children. But let’s keep it real, parenting is hard. You’re not “you” anymore, you don’t get to decide what you do with your days, weeks, weekends.
I am looking forward to baby arriving, I’m so excited to meet them but I’m also quite scared as to how I’ll adapt to a mummy of two.
Check back with us in the near future to see how we’re getting on x
So, if you’ve read my last blog post “Is it just us?”, firstly, thank you and secondly, you’ll see that we are expecting our second baby. Now, I knew it would be different this time round as I already have Noah who needs so much of my time, love and attention, but I can’t believe quite how difficult some days have been.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I knew it would be harder just because I can’t just nap when I need to like I did with Noah. I have to make sure I’m making time for Noah and completing all those “parenting” tasks that suck up the majority of your evenings and weekends. So by the time I sit down after the tea, bath, bed routine is done, I’m absolutely exhausted. Some nights I’ve gone for a warm bath, others I’ve just taken myself off to bed but then I feel like I’ve not had any time with Tom at all. How do you navigate life as a heavily pregnant mummy/wife/full-time worker/friend and fit it all in while also looking after yourself?
Another thing that worries me, is how this is for Tom. He is also having to think about life as a family of 4, whilst also doing the lion’s share at home and with Noah some days. You can find his thoughts on awaiting baby number 2 right here.
Any other parent feel like it’s just you? Just your child creating a MASSIVE scene any time you go anywhere? Your child still not potty trained? Your child who will NOT eat veg.
I know it’s not just us, course I do. But it’s hard not to feel like it sometimes, especially when the judgey eyes of “perfect parents” fall upon you … because of course their child is utter perfection.
I just feel like you’re never really prepared for the things parenting throws at you. People say “parenting is really hard” but I don’t feel like you can fully understand how hard until you’re fully immersed in it with no clear cut direction on how to get through.
Yep, we’ve all been there. Right? Not just me is it? After the shitstorm that was 2020, I tried not to do the same thing I do every January 1st. I tried to avoid the “New Year, New Me” mantra and instead say to myself, “New Year, Working on Me” instead. See, I don’t want to be a new person. I don’t want a new life or anything like that. I simply want to look after myself better. This includes physical and mental health.
However, I think I went the complete opposite way of “New Year, New Me” and kinda set up camp in “New Year, Continue eating yourself in to an early grave ..” Because, I’ll be honest, that’s where I’ll end up if I carry on. I’ve taken a completely irresponsible approach to my weight in the last 3 months. I look and feel worse now than I did just after having Noah. I’m slowly creeping back up the scales and I can feel it in my joints, my asthma is playing up again and I’m not sleeping well.
I know, I know…so eat less and move more! Simple. Yeah, in theory, it’s as simple as A,B,C. But, as with a lot of tasks, your mindset has to be in the right place and focused on the end goal if you’re to achieve anything at all.
Good lord above, what did I do? In my former life I mean. Did I shoplift? Did I live a life of giving zero fucks about the environment by not recycling? I ask because … come on!
Look, he’s even giving me side-eye because I am daring to ask if it’s time to tidy up!
Don’t get me wrong fellow bloggers. I adore the fact that our house is a messy, lived-in family home. I’m not saying I’d change it, of course I wouldn’t. If you’ve read any of my other posts (or if you know us personally) you’ll know what we’ve been through to get here. But, every time I step on a slightly angled plastic knife, or a discarded piece of fruit (I would say plastic fruit but it’s not always the case), I cry a little inside.